I wasn’t even going to post about this because the whole situation is actually kind of sad, but then I noticed that Mrs. Chamberlain is Mama Fratelli from The Goonies and I couldn’t just ignore something like that. And, I mean, she actually hasn’t aged that badly, considering the arrest following the kidnapping and pirate ship incident, and now the drug problems. 

By the way, does this mean Joba is Chunk? Is a Truffle-Shuffle chant in order? I think it is.

Long Night for the C's

First the Bruins, now the Celtics? Sully’s Tap must have had some kind of ridiculous specials the last couple nights because both the B’s and Celts came out in their respective games with a serious playoff hangover. The Celtics especially looked like a tired team tonight, trailing by as much as 28 early in the second half though they would eventually cut that lead to 4. It didn’t matter in the end though, as the Magic closed the door on a 95-90 win before the C’s could even the score.

A few key facts from a game I’m otherwise done talking about:

- The Celtics aren’t going to win with 9 point performances out of Ray Allen. But given that he actually morphed into Michael Jordan in Game 6, he gets a pass.

- Dwight Howard had 22 rebounds. The Celtics still don’t have Kevin Garnett. You do the math.

- Paul Pierce was the only Celtic starter with a positive plus/minus, with a plus-9.

- Oh, and Scalabrine was a plus-22. Yeah, that’s not a typo. A plus-22. As in, the Celtics scored 22 more points than they gave up when Scal was on the court.

Plus-22 for Scal. Count it!

Do you think Scal’s ever been a plus-22 at anything, ever before in his life? Like, have his friends ever made 22 more funny jokes than bad ones throughout the course of a night or something because Scal was there? Anything? I say no.

So, a tip of the cap to Scal and a “see you Wednesday” to everybody else.

Bettman's Skinemax

Somewhere Gary Bettman is slugging cheap champagne.

Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin just rewrote the book on hockey hype, submitting dueling hat tricks in a Game 2 that Ovechkin’s Capitals won by a score of 4-3.

Are you kidding me?

Think Bird-Magic, Tyson-Holyfield, Biggie-Pac. Then imagine what it would have looked like if Bird and Magic had scored 50 each, against each other, in the playoffs, or if Tyson-Holyfield I had ended in a double knockout with Tyson sneaking to his feet at “9″, or if Biggie and Pac suddenly came back from the dead and staged a sold-out rap battle at MSG - that’s what happened tonight on the ice. We’re talking about the NHL’s top #1 and #2 players (other than Shawn Thornton, of course) and you can argue about who’s 1 and who’s 2, but the fact is, they’re both on top. And they just went out and made history in Game 2 of what could turn out to be….well, actually, only the second greatest series of this sports playoff season (for number one, see: Celtics-Bulls). But still. It’s pretty freakin’ cool. And if I were you, I’d go ahead and tune in for Game 3 on Wednesday.

And for God’s sake, will someone please get Bettman’s Vespa keys before something bad happens?