Ricky, get out while there's still time

Manny Pacquiao didn’t just beat Ricky Hatton tonight – he undressed him, stole his jockstrap, burned down his house, and ate his dinner. In one of the most dominating performances in recent memory, Manny made it clear early that Hatton had absolutely no chance to win. And Hatton’s no slouch, bringing a 45-1 record into the ring tonight. A record which now stands at 45 and a resounding, painful 2.

Hatton was no match for Pacquiao’s speed which was, to say the least, impressive. Manny led with lightning fast jabs and vicious hooks from the outset, even as Hatton came out firing early. Hatton seemed almost bizarrely outmatched for a former champion. He connected on a few punches, but overall just seemed sluggish compared to Pacquaio. The first round saw Manny drop Hatton to the mat not once but twice, first with a mean right hook and next following a flurry of hooks and jabs, and the Hitman looked completely stunned during the break. Though he came out with what looked like a renewed vigor in the second, it didn’t last long.

Hatton almost – almost – snuck out of what was actually a decent second round for him. He ducked and jabbed, connecting on some solid punches, and tried to take the fight to Pacquiao. The clock was ticking down on Round 2…30 seconds, 15, 10 and then…..BOOM. Hatton misses, leaving himself vulnerable, and Manny delivers a brutal left cross to Hatton’s throat and jaw and it’s over. Hatton’s out cold immediately and he drops to the mat like a stone into the ocean. Referee Kenny Bayless had the easiest job in the world tonight when he waved the fight off after one look at the horizontal Hatton.

Manny’s punch couldn’t have been cleaner and it had the force of a full windup behind it, leading to a knockout that will be a YouTube staple for years. Hatton spent the next 5 minutes on his back while the ring filled with cheering Pacquiao supporters and doctors trying to bring Hatton back from the dead. It was a gruesome scene, with Hatton sprawled unconscious and financee Jennifer screaming from the audience. Shockingly – fortunately – Hatton eventually got up and walked under his own power to the dressing room, but here’s hoping that he’s at a hospital somewhere right now getting checked out because he got absolutely drilled. He’ll be feeling that one every time he steps into the ring from now on.

Domination

Some would argue that a quick fight like tonight’s is a waste of a Pay Per View buy. I couldn’t disagree more. What I watched tonight was total and utter boxing domination. Manny Pacquiao is a man working at the very peak of his craft and he looks like a force that cannot be beaten. The southpaw has some of the fastest hands on the planet and his left cross, as we now know, packs way more than junior welterweight power. I wouldn’t want to be Floyd Mayweather right now staring at the prospect of a Pacquiao rematch. He might want to stay retired.

What the thousands in attendance and the millions watching at home saw tonight was Manny Pacquiao, the Pride of the Philippines, destroy a man in the ring. He dismantled Hatton in the first round and he disposed of him in the second. It was a display of the sweet science at its very best and Manny walked out of the ring afterwards as the best pound-for-pound boxer in the world. You don’t see that every night.

And that’s $49.99 well-spent, as far as I’m concerned.

Mr. Cool

Thanks to Eddie House, we’ll see you in Round Two! What a series, and what a performance out of the smoothest guy in the room, Edward Home. Here we come Orlando – unless you plan on suiting up Shaq and Penny Hardaway, you’re going to be in for a serious fight. Because this team flat out doesn’t quit.

And they say I shouldn't say a bad thing about Joakim Noah and I say, why not??

I’m going to make this quick, because there’s not much that needs to be said about this Game 7 between the Celts and Bulls, or about this series so far. Really the only thing missing from this series is Johnny Most, Larry Bird and the Old Garden. So, a quick prediction will have to suffice:

Ray Allen scores 107, while Rajon Rondo fights the entire Bulls team by himself and Joakim Noah gets pantsed, revealing that he is, in fact, a female.

The pick: Celtics by 1, 201-200, in 7 overtimes.

The first installment of the much-talked about Alexander Ovechkin – Sidney Crosby playoff battle certainly lived up to the hype. But even with Sid and 8 netting first period goals, the Game One crown goes to Caps rookie ‘tender Simeon Varlamov. His miracle save near the end of the second period was the difference-maker in a game that was expected to be all about offense. Question marks have loomed throughout the playoffs about whether the green Varlamov can handle the bright lights of the postseason, but I think his performance today should put those suspicions to bed, at least for now.

Regardless, the Washington Capitals are a scary team and with a guy like Ovechkin, they threaten to explode offensively at any time. Today, both teams played well throughout and if Game One was any indication, the NHL’s marquee matchup should turn out to be a great series.

I'm a weenie!

Somewhere Gary Bettman is drinking celebratory wine coolers.

How's that dust taste?

Another Kentucky Derby has come and gone and if you ignored me when I said it would be, at the very least, exciting, well, you missed out. A brief recap: Mine That Bird spent most of the mile and a fourth hovering around last place, until he decided it might be a good time to make a break for it, which he did along the inside of the rail and he didn’t stop until he had the Roses locked up by 6 3/4 lengths. Bird’s margin of victory was the greatest since Assault, in 1946. To put things in perspective, you might remember a little horse named Barbaro who was the talk of the town in 2006. He was a top-2 favorite at Churchill that year and he won the Derby too – but only by 6 1/2 lengths.

If you had put a 10 dollar bet down on Bird before the race – maybe because you liked his name or perhaps #8 was your lucky number – you would have walked away from the cash window with $500 in your pocket and a smile on your face. That’s right, not only did Mine That Bird completely dominate the rest of the field, he was a 50/1 longshot, making him one of the biggest upset winners in the 135-year history of the race.

This guy brought his A game.

What a day at the Derby. You had a great atmosphere, a soft track, a thousand unbelievably large hats (are there guys outside Churchill Downs who sell giant hats for ten bucks, like the t-shirt guys outside Fenway?), a miracle upset win, and a winning jockey in Calvin Borel who is so incomprehensibly weird, so completely unintelligible in interviews, and so unintentionally hilarious in his post-race celebrations that you can’t help but be entertained. All in all, it was a great day at the races and another history-making feather in the cap of the Kentucky Derby.

And, if by chance you checked out That’s Game 6 the other day, realized that maybe you should tune in to the Derby and then said, hey you know what, I’ll put a couple bucks on the biggest longshot in the field – well then, it was a pretty damn good day for you too.

You’re welcome.